How Sweet (and fattening) It Is

There’s a whole lot of shakin’ goin’ on. It must be time for that insulin shot. Or, everyone’s just a bit jittery because they’re not sure WHY corn refiners have petitioned the FDA to be able to change the name of the dreaded and infamous High Fructose Corn Syrup, to a more benign sounding and somewhat subversive name, Corn Sugar. Or whether it even makes a difference for that matter.

Today, there’s a lot complete ignorance about what goes in food. Because of that, a nutritionist counter culture (or the food punks, as I like to call them) has developed, where anything that might be possibly harmful becomes the topic of the week and the trendiest thing to avoid, without a necessarily complete understanding of said substance or additive. We’re all pretty familiar with the recent gluten free, grass fed, organic, GHB-free wave. (NOT a bad thing to have going around, mind you.)

In all of this, one of the original evils has sort of been out of the news, like Paris Hilton before her recent nose candy incident. High Fructose Corn Syrup has been, until last week, soooo 2007. However, there’s been a lot of hubub lately about whether or not they should be allowed to change their name to avoid bad press. Dear HFCS, while this tactic may have worked for Prince, I don’t think this will work for you. Or that it should be allowed. Go ahead, try and trick your consumers, but here’s the deal. I’ve compiled some information to arm our readers, so your propaganda and sneaky marketing won’t work. You ask, “what’s so bad about ‘Corn Sugar’?”
Here’s your answer:

  • “FAT FAT FATTY!” According to Science Daily, a recent study conducted at the university of Princeton, found that rats who were given HFCS gained more weight (even with the same caloric intake) than rats who were just given ordinary table sugar. Sumo wrestlers, take note. “When rats are drinking high-fructose corn syrup at levels well below those in soda pop, they’re becoming obese — every single one, across the board. Even when rats are fed a high-fat diet, you don’t see this; they don’t all gain extra weight.” -Bart Hobel, neuroscience and apetite specialist.
  • In an article from DiabetesHealth.com, the composition of HFCS is broken down for us. Essentially, this alternate and cheaper sugar, is made of two things: Fructose and Glucose. Fructose is a monosaccharide, or simple sugar. It does not stimulate insulin secretion, or require insulin to be transported to cells. As a diabetic knows, it’s important to manage your insulin secretion and glucose levels. The problem with Fructose, however, is that insulin also triggers leptin, or the “I’m full” hormone. So, if you’re consuming calories, without feeling like you are, you’re going to gain weight. If you’re diabetic, or even if you’re not, that can be a big problem.
  • According to me, your dearest lemon, stuff tastes better with real sugar. Haven’t you ever had a Coke from Mexico… Dang those are good. I want one right now, it’s soooo hot out… Sorry. Back to the facts.
  • If you don’t care if you’re fat, fine. Go rock that “big is beautiful” attitude. More power to you. I mean, look at Precious, she’s awesome. But according to Healthmad.com, (and ANYONE with common sense) obesity leads to heart, kidney, and liver problems. Therefore, indirectly, so does HFCS. It’s kind of like the transitive property that says you have slept with everyone your current mate has slept with, but worse. Can I say that here?

So, whether it’s called HFCS, Corn Sugar, or some symbol that can’t be pronounced out loud, it’s bad. It’s evil. It’s satan. It’s Christine O’Donnell in sugar form (cheaper, simpler, and really really bad for America.) And the next time someone asks you, “What’s so bad about High Fructose Corn Syrup?” you’ll have an answer. Brought to you by your friendly folks at Bambu Batu.

Song of the day: “Raspberry Beret”- Prince

Bonus Video: some propaganda from Sweetsurprise.com

1 comment

  1. Anonymous says: September 25, 2010

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