Okay. We all know enough about nutrition now to know that McDonald’s is on the bad guys’ team, right? Morgan Spurlock, Eric Schlosser, and Micheal Pollan have made that clear enough, right? We don’t want McDonald’s in our kids’ faces twenty-four-seven, right? We wouldn’t have them teaching our kids about nutriti….what?

Yup. Not a joke. Not fiction. Reality. McReality. McDonald’s is hosting nutrition workshops for elementary school kids. That’s like having a convicted predator teach a class on self-defense for women.

It would be one thing if this was just some cheap ploy to improve their image in the nutrition community. No matter who it is dispensing the sermon, it can’t be a bad thing to have kids learn about the merits of vegetables. After all, this is what McDonald’s representatives claim to be the point of their seminars.

But little 11-year-old Shannon Mulligans claims to have “learned that McDonald’s can be very healthy for you if you make the right choices. I usually have lots of cheese, but I had less cheese and more lettuce, and I had chicken instead of hamburger because it has fewer calories,” according to a local paper.

Yup. The merits of vegetables.

The “learning” doesn’t take place at schools either. It takes place at a McDonald’s location: in Stratford, CT, where over 25% of high school students are overweight or obese. Interesting. Hmmm, divide that number, by the number of calories in an Angus Deluxe (750) and add what percentage of sodium and fat is recommended for an adult’s daily maximum intake (about two Big Macs) and it equals… oh yeah, one reason kids shouldn’t be taking nutritional guidance from the guru of gluttony.

Well, I guess this is just one more notch in the belt of big companies fighting to keep our kids fat. We already have soda companies funding school text books and lockers, in exchange for monopolies in vending machines, and dairy lobbyists making sure that kids drink milk with their lunch. What next? Are corn lobbyists going to dress up like stalks of corn, and hand out pamphlets about the benefits of HFCS (sorry, corn sugar?)

Think I’m kidding? Just consider Coca-Cola’s virtual monopoly on Cal Poly campus. As of last year they gained exclusive rights to sell soft drinks (Coca-Cola, Red Bull, etc.) everywhere but the campus food court. That meant elbowing out Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and even organic, fair-trade and locally developed Guayaki. Of course, you probably remember how dutifully the Cal Poly president bowed down to corporate influence when Michael Pollan came to speak last year.

Thanks to for the information about this. Want to send your kids to school with a sustainable way of eating lunch? Come in and get some to-go ware and a handy bamboo spork!

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