Posts Tagged ‘happiest city in america’
Thanks to the great results and wonderful feedback coming from our Bambu Batu blog, and because the Internet already hosts a profusion of Top Ten lists, and due to the ever-shrinking attention span of online readers, we’ve decided this week to launch our own semi-regular feature of lists called “Eight Is Enough”.
Just one more way for you, our reader, to follow our unique perspectives on topics ranging from local news to gardening tips to metaphysical conjecture. So to initiate the Eight Is Enough series, we begin with a subject close to home, new findings that name San Luis Obispo “the happiest city in America.”
Eight Way To Know You Live In The Happiest Place On Earth
1. You know you live in the happiest place on earth if your town has no panhandlers, thanks to a city-wide ban on homelessness.
2. Every other car you see has a “Coexist” bumper sticker, each owned by a middle-aged white person with an upper-middle class income.
3. Wider sidewalks, as reported by Jenny McCarthy of the Oprah Show, reduce the risk of physical contact with strangers who might otherwise violate your personal sphere of happiness.
4. The natural human need to discriminate against those who are different is satisfied by cigarette smokers who have been stripped of civil rights and equal access.
5. Almost everyone you know is either a massage therapist, a yoga instructor, or an astrologer.
6. An exceptional climate and a strict adherence to the adage “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all” results in many profound discussions about the local weather.
8. Every business you walk into is staffed by beautiful young college students with huge smiles that more than compensate for the lack of knowledgeability.